When “the Real Housewives of New York” ended last season, we were left with Simon dancing in skin tight red leather pants while Ramon repeatedly yelled at him, “you’re a tu-tu, foo-foo, froo-froo!” I’m still not quite sure what that meant, but I did know this: things were going to get better for Ramona. Next season, she wouldn’t be known as the crazy-eyed housewife with the psycho husband, but instead she would become the heroine that we all (or I) had hoped she would become.
At the start of the third season premiere last night on Bravo, I knew things were looking up for Ramona. Aside from a fierce new haircut, she proudly announced that she gained five pounds and had a new outlook on life. She was standing happily on her friend’s yacht as she yelled these words and greeted her cast-mates, Countess Luann De Lesseps and Jill Zarin. Being the mean girls they are, they told Ramona she looked great and then off camera mentioned how Ramona shouldn’t be wearing a bikini at her age. Hmmm, nobody seemed to have a problem when their other cast-member, Alex McCord, laid out in her bikini. Listen ladies; don’t hate Ramona just because she can rock a bikini after gaining five pounds. No. We are not standing for this. Ramona has a new outlook on life this season and things are going to be different. She’s not going to take their teasing and she’s not going to have foot-in-the-mouth moments like last season (namely calling Bethenny the Underdog and telling the Countess her husband was really old.) This is the season we will finally be able to wear “Team Ramona” shirts proudly. Fast forward… 10 minutes later Ramona is on her yacht hysterically crying.
What happened here? The declaration of Ramona’s new outlook on life (plus the fact that the show has been on for 20 minutes and we still had not seen cast-mate Kelly Bensimon) was a really promising start to this season. We were only on that fabulous yacht for 5 minutes when a tearful Ramona screamed at the Countess that she was “Classless.” How did this happen?
It’s no secret that Bravo loves drama and it helps that housewife Queen Bee, Jill Zarin, loves to mix herself into it. I’m not going to lie to you. I was once Team Jill. I snapped my fingers and yelled “oh no he didn’t,” when Simon said Jill was “so Long Island.” I rolled my eyes when Bethenny threatened to shove a chop stick in Jill’s eye and I cheered when Jill told Mario that she was going to kill him if he didn’t shut up (for such classy ladies, they sure spew some violent threats.) But before we’ve even hit our first commercial break this season, Jill is talking trash on other cast members, calling them cheap when she is at their party and butting into everyone’s business. I’m sorry but this is not the team I signed up for. And what happened to bff Bethenny?
Bethenny is busy posing naked on a rooftop, being best friends with her boyfriend and telling Jill to find a hobby. We’re never told what specifically caused the fight, other than Jill was upset that she wasn’t always Bethenny’s plus one and Bethenny was upset that Jill was always in her business. For girls, these are vague reasons for a fight. We know more specific stuff went down. (Am I right ladies? We cat fight for reasons, not circumstances.) But, hey, good for Bethenny. She’s got a new Jason in her life and she’s not trying to be apart of Jill’s bullying. Fair enough.
Halfway through the episode, we finally see cast-member Kelly Bensimon. She sits down to lunch with Jill and Countess Luann and they rehash all the stuff that we already knew from reading the tabloids while the show is off the air. Kelly was accused of assaulting her boyfriend, Luann and the Count divorced and Jill’s husband was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. (Actually, that last factoid caught me off-guard and upset me. He seems like a really nice guy on the show. In all seriousness, that was sad news.) But after rehashing the past few months we learn nothing much from the lunch, other than Kelly is able to rock a sweater in the summer without sweating profusely.
Despite a minor fight between Bethenny and Countess Luann, the rest of the show is uneventful. We don’t see much more of Kelly Bensimon or Alex McCord and we don’t see anymore of our champion, Ramona. The teases for the rest of the season look good, but not table-flipping good. If anything, they look more “tardy for the party” good because we see that the Countess has made her way to a recording studio. Oy.
What is it about these shows that keep drawing me in? I want to say that these women should not be in the spotlight and should not have cameras following them around all the time. I know in my head that there are people that deserve the fame and attention way more. I also can’t help but think to myself, “nobody relates to these women. Who has problems like these?” But yet, like Bravo, like Jill Zarin… I too live for the drama.
Or maybe I just live for the thrill of rooting for the true underdog, Ramona Singer. Could this be the season that she finally loses the “crazy-eye” nickname? Could #teamramona ever become a trending topic? I want to look away, but the hope of Ramona gaining the upper-hand keeps me watching. One day Ramona… one day.