Miley says goodbye… I say good riddance

We here at TV Binge are not above children’s television. We are not too high and mighty to turn on the Disney Channel. And we are definitely not too snarky to be able to watch a show that stars Miley Cyrus. In fact, we welcome the opportunity (TEAM ICARLY FOR LIFE.)

To be completely honest, there was a time when I found “Hannah Montana,” to be a cute, mildly funny and occasionally endearing children’s show. Now that it’s ending, I can’t change the channel fast enough. Miley Cyrus’ acting is over the top and amateur. Her cast-mates look like wanna-be Mileys and wanna-be Pete Wentz’s. What happened to that cute school girl that put on a wig and became a rock star? She was supposed to be an ordinary girl by day, diva at night. Now her, and everyone around her, seem to be divas all the time.

So the show is having its finale. The title of the episode is “Miley says goodbye?” and one can only hope that the answer to that question is yes, yes Miley says goodbye. A two parter, the show features Miley Stewart having dreams of her horse, Blue Jeans, talking to her. She soon realizes that the horse is actually her and it’s telling her she’s homesick for Tennessee. This is a show for children and not common droppers of acid, right?

Miley’s heart may be in Tennessee but her family and best friend, Lily, is in Malibu. Lily’s boyfriend, Oliver, is about to tour with a new band and everyone has to choose between what they really want or if they should leave Lily. When did this character become the person that’s holding everyone back? The Lily character used to be a champion and supporter to all and suddenly she’s ruining everyone’s dreams. Wow, way to make a character unlikable in the last episode.

No problem is so big that a ride on ol’ Blue Jeans can’t solve it. Miley takes her horse for a ride and flashes back to a montage of all her and Lily’s greatest moments. This is the one and only heartwarming moment of the last show, and it’s only because it flashes back to a time when it was a better show. Miley’s dad meets her and Blue Jeans on top of the hill to discuss what Miley’s thinking. She wants to go home to Tennessee but she just can’t leave Lily. But guess what? Dad bought a ranch here in Malibu! And we can see it from the top of the hill! You’re not going to believe this but… it’s the best of both worlds.

Over the top acting, forced sappiness and jokes that even an 11 year old would find tired, clutter this episode. A television show ending by moving isn’t unheard of (I cried like a baby when the Seaver’s moved in the last episode of Growing Pains and we found “Mike Seaver was here” carved in the wall) but this girl is supposed to be the world’s biggest pop star. Her career isn’t affected by a move down the block, so why bring her up at all. No one even made mention of Hannah Montana. Hannah wasn’t worked into the final episode at all. So Miley moves and nothing changes other than location? No one else moves out? No hugs goodbye? No last meal on a blanket spread on the living room floor where everyone shares their favorite memory? Nope. The show was quick and hollow.

I’m not expecting an amazing ending from a children’s show, but how about a little effort? This show was HUGE for Disney and for the stars of the show. The whole thing was wrapped up so quickly in a neat and tidy bow that nobody took the time to realize that the package was empty inside. It almost seemed like they couldn’t end it quick enough. Just because it’s for children doesn’t mean it has to be amateur. Miley should be saying goodbye.


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