Bridalplasty keeps it tacky

Every girl dreams of looking perfect on her wedding day.  At least that’s what I have been told.  I have never been one of those girls who dreams about her wedding or wearing white.  But, no judgments here.  If you’re one of those marrying gals who dreams of a traditional, beautiful, wedding day where all eyes are on you, I say go for it.  But ladies… let’s keep it classy.

Take my friend Kelly for example.  Kelly is due to be married next October (I’m her Maid of Honor.)  Kelly has chosen a beautiful wedding gown, is taking dance classes to tone up her body before the big day and has already recruited her make-up and hairstylists to do some test runs on her so that everything is perfect on her wedding day.  This, is a classy way of looking great for your dream day.

E!’s latest television show, “Bridalplasty,” is a more in-your-face, tacky way of preparing for your wedding day.   On this show, hosted by Shanna Moakler (famous for marrying and divorcing Travis Barker,) twelve brides compete with each other to achieve the perfect wedding day and of course, that means the perfect look.  E! will throw them a beautiful, luxurious wedding and in addition, give them head-to-toe plastic surgery.  Talk about getting a make over.

The show opens with the Brides arriving, sharing their stories, and getting to know one another.  There are some sweet, heart tugging stories, like Melissa, a bride who’s fiance is currently in Iraq.  There are some camera hogs, like Alexandra, who you may recognize from “The Biggest Loser” (and if you didn’t recognize her, she said it fifty-million times.)  And there are some down right bridezillas like Janessa who proudly announces that she gave her fiance a deadline to propose because they had already been dating for four years (and c’mon, that’s like… totally crazy.)  After the brides get to know each other, Shanna comes in, looking quite botoxed and plumped in the lips herself, and tells them that the doctor is about to give them their run downs.

Personalities aside, there is not a bad looking girl in this group.  When the plastic surgeon walks in with cards of what each girl wants to have done, I’m wondering what could it possibly say.  We soon learn that this show should have been hosted by Heidi Montag because that’s who these brides seem to want to look like.  (Let’s hope for their sake they come out looking a little better than she did.)

After the doctor hands each girl her list of what surgeries she wants to have done, they get some cocktails, do some mingling and then it’s time for the first challenge.  They must put together a puzzle of what their new selves will look like.  The first 10 who finish get to go to an injection party.  The girls eye the winning syringes with longing and get started on their puzzles.  Kristen, our first winner, happily announces she will finally fix her “butt-face,” while Lisa Marie (no not that one,) our final winner, cries EXTREME tears of joy.  But two girls are left without syringes, and now a vote must be done by the other brides to see who will stay.

Based on the editing and promotion, E! seems to sell “Bridalplasty” as Bridezillas meets the Swan meets Survivor.  Who will be the last one standing?  What will they look like when this is all over?  And can anyone tame these zany brides?

But, Bridezillas are really just trying to make their day go off without a hitch and just as they want it.  And people on Survivor are literally, just trying to survive.  And the heart-tugging stories of the Swan made you sympathize with the longing these folks had for plastic surgery.  Bridalplasty, misses the mark in all these places.  The show concept doesn’t stem from a good place of trying to make some one’s life happier, all it does is exploit these ladies’ desperate need to be perfect on their wedding day.  Pretty ladies, who don’t need to change anything to look great on that day, yet clawing at each other to get plumper lips and a smaller waist.  It’s a competition that brings out the worst in the contestants and offers artificial, shallow prizes.

It’s not about being anti-plastic surgery, or anti-weddings/brides or even anti-Shanna Moakler (which I admittedly, kind of am.)  It’s about tapping into the multi-million dollar industry of brides and weddings and turning it into an all out, Janice Dickinson style cat fight.   There’s no question that it will provide entertainment (instead of Bridezillas meets the Swan and Survivor, think Bridezillas meets Flavor of Love,) but what kind of message does this send?

Wedding days are meant to be fairy-tales.  They should be filled with love, excitement, and dreams coming true.  The Wedding Channel and Lifetime are good at capturing these dreams for television.  E! is good at capturing weddings filled with insecurities and going under the knife instead of loving yourself.

I know that some brides are desperate to do whatever it takes to have their perfect wedding day.  So with that in mind, I beg of you, all brides-to-be, don’t go on “Bridalplasty.”  You can be beautiful and have your dream wedding without having to go on immediately following the Kardashians.  Let’s keep your wedding day and pre-wedding behavior classy.

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2 responses to “Bridalplasty keeps it tacky

  1. Janessa looks and acts like the grinch she really needs to win the plasty to fix that perma scowl. She seems to be in need of a physical fix more than anyone in the house.

    • I was going to reply and say she’s a mean one, then I realized that would be a corny pun on your grinch comment.

      Now I realize I kind of did it anyway. I agree with you though.

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